Relationship as Healer

“Although many physicians have an intuitive understanding of the importance of healing relationships, there are few systematic studies in the medical literature that empirically examine what healing relationships might look like and how they are built by clinician and patient.” Scott et al 2008  

Emotional connection is the primary healer. How I feel about my health care provider is central to my healing process. Thinking back on those I’ve sought care from, the ones I felt a connection with, who were caring, non-judgmental were those I experienced the deepest healing with. They were ones who sought the source of the problem in a gentle and caring way.  I propose that trust, caring in a heart-felt way, and curiosity are key.  

In my twenties, I had intestinal bleeding, pain, and general dysfunction. Doctors offered irrelevant diagnoses, drugs with trauma-producing side effects, and relationships that were completely non-relational. It’s not that I’m looking to build friendship or spend lots of time, but in a brief 10-15 minute visit, you can feel engagement or not. I found an acupuncturist who delicately sought root causes, showed interest in my emotional history and geared my treatment toward resolving that painful past.  

Our medical system is technically supreme and astonishingly out-of-touch with what matters. We’ve lost the sense of holding a dying person’s hand as medically important because medicine is divorced from human relationships and connection. Many have no one to talk to, little emotional support, and pills are the substitute. But antidepressants are now correlated with violent crime and suicide.  

In my practice, I want to know my clients, beyond their methylation pathways.  I want to know how retirement feels, what their artwork looks like, what brings them joy. I try to stay receptive, curious, and open to caring relationships within parameters. I suggest seeking out health care providers who create connection, as the bonds offer the best hope.